


Ancient History Part 1

by patroklassy



Series: Ancient History [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Achilles - Freeform, Alexander the Great - Freeform, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Canon Era, Hephaistion - Freeform, I mean they're all implied, M/M, Patroklos - Freeform, Reincarnation, Reincarnation AU, The Iliad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-15
Updated: 2016-07-15
Packaged: 2018-07-24 04:02:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7493085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/patroklassy/pseuds/patroklassy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The "Rage, my soldiers . . ." line spoken by Erwin is from Chapter 80 of the Attack on Titan manga. </p><p>Levi is compared to Hephaistion and Patroklos, Erwin is compared to Alexander the Great and Achilles.<br/>The hailstorm, pierced lung, torture, and leading from the front all reference Alexander and Hephaistion.<br/>The “sunless ocean” and “towering blank rocks” line is adapted from Book 16 of the Iliad. Levi’s feeling of repeated rage is a reference to Achilles.</p></blockquote>





	Ancient History Part 1

Levi swings, but he catches a glimpse of his attacker’s face and for a heartbeat, he hesitates.

            It’s enough time for the other soldier to leap between them, intercepting Levi’s blade.

            Then he hears Isabel’s voice, and it’s all distraction enough for the soldier to wrench Levi’s arms behind his back and force him to his knees at Isabel and Farlan’s side.  

            The Squad Leader starts questioning them. Something about their ODM gear.

            Levi is having a hard time listening. He can’t pull his gaze away from the Squad Leader’s face or stop a single thought from repeating over and over in his head: _I know you._

_~_

The blade bites into Erwin’s hands. It will leave scars, horizontal lines across his fingers, his palms. Strangely, that seems right. It will only repaint the lines left there by older blades, older battles.

            He doesn’t know where the thought comes from. It brings a sensation that Erwin is by now almost accustomed to: familiarity.

            It had happened first in the Underground. It was strange, really—the half-second of hesitation he’d witnessed in Levi’s movements had coincided with his own half-second of hesitancy.

            And since then, flashes of it. A glimpse of Levi’s face; a particular mannerism; repeated expressions in conversation. All bring something like a memory, except it’s like the memory doesn’t belong to Erwin. Like he’s stolen it from somebody else by mistake and now it’s malfunctioning in the wrong mind.

            “No!” he shouts at Levi. “It was the _titans!_ ”

            The rain makes it worse. For a moment he’s in a forest, rain turning to hail. Levi at his side.

            He keeps shouting. He’s angry. He doesn’t know why Levi makes him remember memories that don’t belong to him and he doesn’t appreciate having more things out of reach; the origin of titans, the history of humanity, are enough.

            But he knows he wants Levi to stay. He knows he has to convince him.

~

The promotion stirs something. It’s a current of water disturbing the silt at the bottom of a river, revealing the gold that lies within. There’s something precious lying hidden in Levi’s memory, and becoming a Squad Leader reveals some of it.

            He has led people before. Not just in the Underground, not just his gang of thugs.

            But knowing who it _wasn’t_ is not the same as knowing who it _was._ True clarity still eludes him.

            Still, there’s something intrinsically right about Erwin, a commander now, putting lives and responsibility into Levi’s hands.

            As he approaches the podium he studies Erwin’s face. The hostility of their first meeting is all but gone now, replaced with mutual respect. They had both earned it in each other’s eyes, and that feels right too. There is genuine, unrestrained pride on Erwin’s face now. It’s almost ridiculous, really. Such a difference to the sober, controlled expression he usually maintains.

Levi feels pride too. He isn’t sure how, but he knows he has brought about that change. 

~

Levi sits at Erwin’s bedside and opens his mouth to tell him that he had better damn-well survive that pierced lung.

            _There’s nothing wrong with Erwin’s lungs_ , he reminds himself, and tells Erwin that he had better damn-well survive losing his arm instead.

            “Make sure you keep it clean. Dying of infection wouldn’t suit you.”

            Erwin smiles and agrees.

            Levi almost mentions the lung. He almost asks if Erwin has ever injured it, maybe some time before they met. But it’s just one of a thousand strange thoughts that have come to him around Erwin and he’s tired of being tormented by them, tired of losing sleep trying to figure out which memories are real and which ones aren’t.

            So out of spite to his own mind more than anything, he doesn’t bring it up.

~

Erwin’s head tells him, _This isn’t the first time Levi’s tortured somebody for you._

It’s a paradox, true and not true.

            By the time he sees Levi afterwards, the blood-spattered gloves and apron are gone and Levi is clean; no one would have known he’d been torturing a man just hours earlier.

            Erwin feels like a betrayal has been confirmed but that’s just as paradoxical as the feeling of a previous torture itself. When he sees Levi the first thing he wants to say is, “You’re the only one I can truly trust anymore.”

~

He sits in his chair and listens to Levi, and he’s waiting by the ships again and Levi’s telling him that he’s the son of a sunless ocean, the son of towering blank rocks.

            But last time Levi was urging him to fight and this time he’s urging him not to. Nevertheless, the message is the same: “You’re making a mistake, Erwin, and people are going to die for it.”

            Except there was no last time, and Erwin has never seen the sea.

            He shakes his head to clear it.

            Levi promises to put his faith in Erwin’s decision, and as he’s about to leave, Erwin calls him back.

            “Levi—wait. Do you ever feel . . .” he starts.

            Levi turns his head back to him, hand resting on the door-handle. “Well?”

            “. . . like we know each other?”

            “What the hell are you talking about? We’ve known each other for years.”

            “I know. But do you ever feel like . . . No, never-mind. It’s the medication talking.”

            “If the medication’s affecting you, that’s another reason to sit this one out. But like I said, I’ll put my faith in your decision.” Levi pauses a moment longer and Erwin feels like he’s being searched by him, like there’s a question poised on Levi’s lips. But then Levi leaves and shuts the door behind him.

~

He kneels before Erwin. For a moment he considers grasping Erwin’s knee, his chin. Thoughts like that still don’t make sense to him and it’s likely he and Erwin will die soon, so it’s time to ask Erwin what it all means.

            He doesn’t want to tell Erwin to sacrifice himself because that’s not how it’s supposed to go, they’re not supposed to be separated again when they die.

            But it breaks his heart to see Erwin so torn up and it breaks his heart to think how many decisions already weigh upon Erwin’s shoulders, so he makes the decision he knows Erwin can’t bring himself to make.

            But before that—

            “Erwin, before we do what needs to be done . . . tell me you know what these—these _memory_ things mean. Tell me you figured it out.”

            Erwin’s head, hanging down, lifts. His gaze meets Levi’s. “So you— No, I’m sorry. They’re as much a mystery to me as the contents of that basement.”

            Levi sighs. “Yeah, figures. What do you see?”

            “Blood, mostly. Metal. You. But it—it’s not you. Not really. But mostly, I just get feelings _._ Like something’s happened before.”

            “Me too. I thought maybe my mind had just turned to shit, up until you mentioned knowing each other after that meeting.”

            “So what now?”

            Levi shrugs. “Nothing. Blood and metal. No different to reality really, is it? This doesn’t change anything. It’s time gather whoever’s left and tell them to get ready. Oh, and Erwin?”

            “Yes?”

            “One last thing.”

            Levi grabs Erwin and kisses him because he doesn’t care anymore that he doesn’t know if Erwin feels the same way or not, he doesn’t care anymore that love is foolish when your lives are forever balanced as precariously on the border of death as theirs.

            Erwin kisses him back and Levi’s head is filled with non-memories of all the other times they’ve kissed before all the other battles they never took part in.  

~

He’s fought on the frontline since he became king, and leading the suicide charge is no different.

            _Not king. Commander._

            But maybe he was a king. Somewhere.

            Levi is gone and Erwin is still thinking about kissing him, about going to say “I love you” to him but stopping himself and departing silently instead. He saw it in Levi’s eyes—Levi understood.

            His heart thrums. He wonders exactly how many beats it has left in it. His mouth opens and even if he is only a commander, he still feels like a king: “RAGE, MY SOLDIERS! SCREAM, MY SOLDIERS! _FIGHT, MY SOLDIERS!_ ” They surge forward and Erwin is an ocean in the tail-end of a storm, making its last desperate crash upon the shore.

~

It’s just like Isabel and Farlan’s deaths. Something changes in him and the world becomes red. He feels out of control and destructive as a hurricane.

            As he slashes at the Beast Titan his thoughts are with Erwin, but the soft memory of him is replaced for the moment with something else—the thought that he’s repeating his rage, that he’s mirroring Erwin’s fury and thirst for blood.

            But he has never seen Erwin rage like this.

            Has he?

~

The battle is lost and Levi drags himself to Erwin’s side.

            Erwin’s wound is still gaping, still pumping blood, but he’s alive.

            Levi’s breath hitches. He doesn’t panic because he always told himself he wouldn’t; always told himself he would be okay with dying.

            And the feeling of his blood pouring out, of his body emptying of life, is the only reason he can stand to see Erwin suffering the same.

            Collapsing with his head pressed to Erwin’s, he whispers to him, “I’m sorry, Erwin. I’d promised you—”

            He can’t say any more than that. Moving his hand to link his fingers with Erwin’s takes the last of his strength.

            With his last sliver of consciousness, he manages to convince himself that Erwin has just taken his last breath at the same moment. At any rate, he feels unreasonably content. Maybe because it feels right—they’re finally dying side-by-side.

            _Finally._

As if they’ve been waiting millennia for things to work out this way.  

**Author's Note:**

> The "Rage, my soldiers . . ." line spoken by Erwin is from Chapter 80 of the Attack on Titan manga. 
> 
> Levi is compared to Hephaistion and Patroklos, Erwin is compared to Alexander the Great and Achilles.  
> The hailstorm, pierced lung, torture, and leading from the front all reference Alexander and Hephaistion.  
> The “sunless ocean” and “towering blank rocks” line is adapted from Book 16 of the Iliad. Levi’s feeling of repeated rage is a reference to Achilles.


End file.
